20 Things No-One Told Me About Becoming A New Mummy

1. There will be plenty of days when you won’t be able to shower or brush your teeth until you have back-up (until Sam gets home from work), instead you will be pooed on, sicked on and dribbled on. Yay for being clean!

2. Being a mum is the best diet ever! There’s no time to eat… that is unless you survive off cookies. They’re easy to grab on the go.. Don't judge me :-)

3. A hot dinner is very rare. Say hello to cold chicken kievs with a side serving of cold beans. Mmmmmmm my fave.

4. You will do ANYTHING to make your baby smile!

5. Changing nappies isn’t actually that bad. When you breathe through your mouth.

6. Even if you have an unlimited amount of bibs and burp cloths, you will always run out of bibs and burp cloths.

7. Babies get real life acne! But they still have the best, softest, yummiest skin in the world, so don't worry.

8. The first few weeks aren’t always the hardest. Weeks 9-12 were hardest for us, which are the weeks everyone tells you will be sooo much better.

9. Infacol will save your life, or in other words - make your baby burp. It's not always as simple as a quick pat on the back, so forget everything that films/TV shows like to tell you. Dammit.

10. Babies don’t always like to lie on their back… which means mum and dad get to stay up all night cuddling, rocking and holding the little darling - wahooooo!

11. You will sit and stare at your baby doing absolutely nothing for hours on end and not get bored.

12. You will miss your old life no matter how great your new one is. I miss spontaneous adventures and "just nipping out" so much!

13. You will have the best and weirdest conversations with your baby pretending they're saying slightly inappropriate things.

14. You will make up ridiculous songs and sing them a lot.

15. Dad jokes are real. Sam enjoys saying “just call me Steve Jobs” whilst he does jobs around the house, ho ho ho.

16. Babies can (and will) PROJECTILE poo.

17. Baby poo looks like MUSTARD.

18. You will have a ridiculous amount of conversations about poo.

19.  It can be SO hard to leave the house without another person (or ten) to help. And if you do just about manage it your baby will throw up/ poo/ scream JUST as you're about to walk out the door.

20. You will worry about  every single thing, even when the rational part of your brain tells you to chill out… “OH MY GOD SHE HAS SLEEP DUST IN HER EYE!”

1 thing everyone did tell me about being a new mummy

1. It's true what they say, it is all worth it.

See you soon!!

xx